Monet

I have a girlfriend that visits me every 20 days. I named her Monet. My mother was going to give her third daughter the name "Monet". Well She never did have a third daughter and I have always been jealous that I didn't receive that name instead of Tiffany so I use it for my lil visitor.

I always count the days and know the time period in which Monet should be arriving, but her "effects" always takes me by surprise. For example, I get ridiculously hungry the week beforehand. Don't put a box of cookies in front me. That mess will be gone in point five seconds.

Along with these crazy cravings are mood swings. One moment I will be the most cuddly loving person, the next I am hoping that people can not tell that I fuming with senseless anger. I kid you not. For some reason I get so aggravated and annoyed that I have to mentally tell myself to calm down.

Ex. "Tiffany it doesn't matter that you brought wheat thins instead of triscuits. They are nearly the same thing"

Then the day arrives. And Monet knows how to make an entrance at full force. I feel full all day, although I don't eat much, and I have a skewed perception that I am the ugliest duckling in the pond. Plus it doesn't help that my stomach feels like a brick is pressing against my ovaries. Womanhood, enough said.

Monet left yesterday and I am very relieved. I also look back and think, "That wasn't as bad as it could have been". Funny how things look after the fact. Ill be seeing her again at the top of the month and as always I will not be prepared. Oh well, it is what it is. Im still happy to be a woman.