The Soloist

I never go to the movies. And when I say never, I mean "Sex in the City" the movie was the last thing I saw in a theater. Though I love Carie, that is pretty sad.

My girlfriend and I have been embarking on simple adventures around town and we decided to go see "The Soloist". It also helped that she already had two tickets! We sat through an amazing two hours, jaws sinking into our laps. The movie was a complete reflection on American life. Neglect, impatience, definition of religion, definition of happiness and properness were all examined in this movie. And of course there were the happy parts of joy, simplicity, and finding power through different mediums.

It made me think, you know I sure do spend a lot of money going out to bars, nightclubs, theater, and restaurants. What if I was to make a place in my budget to give back? The give back section sitting right underneath my leisure section. How many people could I help if I did that? We complain about our meager salaries and what we don't have, when there are so many other people that have way less than us. Yet they still find a way to live, be human, and happy within the madness.

The Soloist allowed me to take a step back. I need to step back more often, because it really puts things into perspective.

Last Lap

My Samoan Goddess has peaced out.

Last night, myself and 13 members of my Milwaukee family threw our bodies into the warm weather and thanked God for the goodness provided to us. The night was glorious; warm breezes, gentle earth, and clear skies. Absolutely beautiful. I felt like a kid again. Climbing trees, tossing a ball around, dusting the sand out of my hair and making muddy tracks in my kitchen afterwards. The image is quite precious.

We long for moments like these. Carefree times where we forget the little money that we make, the snow that kept us indoors for months, or loved ones we are about to say goodbye to. Instead we look forward to the warmth and light that we feel and savor the moment. I will miss holding my beautiful Samoan. I told her last night, " I have no one to touch whenever I want to now." But it wasn't a sad moment, because her going created an unforgettable night of walking hand in hand with nature and seeing the light in all situations.

I love you my dear. Thank you for this special moment in time.

Chocolate Chip Cookies under French Vanilla Icecream

I made a Caribbean cuisine last night for two of my ladies. Talk about decadence. We had macaroni pie, calalou, and rice and peas. After dinner, my Simoan goddess fed our luscious waists chocolate chip cookie pie topped with French Vanilla Icecream. We were directed not to think about what was in it.

I curled up on my couch while my ladies enveloped their bodies in pillows on my bed. We spooned warm silky cookie into our mouths, silently. It was like clouds were passing by.

During this time in heaven I couldnt help thinking about the times I had given each of them hugs and felt their soft curves. I thought to myself, "this is what a lady should feel like. It should feel comfortable, like home." Like my mother. You just melt into them as if they are your favorite chair or your parents king sized bed.

I write this as I sit next to one of my girlfriends whose body I have always admired. She has a beautiful belly that makes her silohouette next to perfect. We are watching "Sex In The City", the movie, eating orange flavored cinnamon rolls. Pure bliss.

Monet

I have a girlfriend that visits me every 20 days. I named her Monet. My mother was going to give her third daughter the name "Monet". Well She never did have a third daughter and I have always been jealous that I didn't receive that name instead of Tiffany so I use it for my lil visitor.

I always count the days and know the time period in which Monet should be arriving, but her "effects" always takes me by surprise. For example, I get ridiculously hungry the week beforehand. Don't put a box of cookies in front me. That mess will be gone in point five seconds.

Along with these crazy cravings are mood swings. One moment I will be the most cuddly loving person, the next I am hoping that people can not tell that I fuming with senseless anger. I kid you not. For some reason I get so aggravated and annoyed that I have to mentally tell myself to calm down.

Ex. "Tiffany it doesn't matter that you brought wheat thins instead of triscuits. They are nearly the same thing"

Then the day arrives. And Monet knows how to make an entrance at full force. I feel full all day, although I don't eat much, and I have a skewed perception that I am the ugliest duckling in the pond. Plus it doesn't help that my stomach feels like a brick is pressing against my ovaries. Womanhood, enough said.

Monet left yesterday and I am very relieved. I also look back and think, "That wasn't as bad as it could have been". Funny how things look after the fact. Ill be seeing her again at the top of the month and as always I will not be prepared. Oh well, it is what it is. Im still happy to be a woman.

What's the Gym For?

I see the same people every morning at the gym. I repeat, every morning. It works like clockwork. The chick who only wears a sports bra on the elliptical. The Mediterranean man circling the track, and my good ol' friend who is constantly trying to get me to go to dinner with him. Then of course there is me. A faithful gym-goer of about 3 consistent years now. The routine has changed, the look has been a roller coaster ride, and the location depends on the job. But I asked myself an interesting question this morning.

Why do we go to the gym?

Yes, we do it to be healthy and lose weight, but why do we really go? I see the same people never changing. Even the chic on the elliptical looks exactly the same as she did 9 months ago. This morning I turned the question onto myself. I lost my Costa Rica summer weight after 2 months of work. Also I don't find as much excitement as I did one year ago when heading to the gym. So whats the need?

I think its guilt and the sluggish/ lazy feeling I get when I don't go. Also, its the only time I get to move my body in this city. The gym has turned into my last resort for physical work. Yes, I dance at the clubs and take yoga once a week but the physical strain I get from the gym is incomparable. I realize for other people its something totally different.

The camaraderie a gym brings in the weight room, racquetball court, and sauna is comforting. Everyone has their buddies at the gym and the notion of being in a place with machines makes some think they are actually shedding pounds or are healthy. In all, the gym adds something for everyone, but rarely takes anything but your money and pounds. So I guess I will keep on going even though I am bored and set at my given weight. I just need to be thankful. Why do you go the gym?